Post by blackest_knight on Mar 21, 2004 15:35:43 GMT -5
I found this on another forum. Enjoy!
Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important email in 2003! Thank God you included me in your quest to inform! Thanks to all of you:
* I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like really bad, but thank god I stopped using deodorant because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, for fear that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from h*ll with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogen they contain may turn me gay.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I now don't look at any guy no matter how hot he is, for fear that he will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick girl that was about to die in the hospital. Funny thing, she never seems to get any older...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important email in 2003! Thank God you included me in your quest to inform! Thanks to all of you:
* I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like really bad, but thank god I stopped using deodorant because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, for fear that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from h*ll with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogen they contain may turn me gay.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I now don't look at any guy no matter how hot he is, for fear that he will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick girl that was about to die in the hospital. Funny thing, she never seems to get any older...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
