Death Couch: The Bright Orange Menace

[Orome]

Opening crawl:
Turmoil has engulfed the city, ok well not really but it uh...smells...yeah that's right, I said it. Damn paper mill!

Anyways, as I was saying, turmoil or something like it has engulfed the city, and DEATH was just chilling out watching the mindless banter of the people when suddenly...

(pan camera to DEATH, sitting on his couch, watch CNN)

(There is a loud bang on the door)

DEATH:WHO DARES TO DISTURB ME?

PIZZA GUY:Uh...I have your pizza dude...Vegitarian, uh...it'll be twenty-two bucks.

DEATH:OH...YES...HERE YOU GO...

(DEATH Carries pizza to the couch, and returns to watching the News)

(Another loud knock on the door)

DEATH:WHO THE HELL NOW! (Stands and the pizza falls onto the couch) DAMMIT! WHO THE HELL IS IT....YOU HAVE RUINED MY COUCH. AND MY PIZZA, THIS BETTER BE GOOD.

PIZZA GUY:Uh...sir you didn't give enough, I need another dollar.

(DEATH grumbles)

DEATH:I DON"T HAVE ANOTHER...

PIZZA GUY:Then i'm gonna have to take back the order, sir

DEATH:NO...NO WAIT, TAKE THIS COUCH INSTEAD...YES...THAT WILL DO

PIZZA GUYReally? Wow...uh...thanks...I think.

(The man struggles and get the couch balanced on his car)

DEATH:BE WARNED, MORTAL. THAT IS MY COUCH, ALL WHO SIT IN IT ARE DOOMED...

DOOMED TO BAD POSTURE AND STIFF NECKS...AND THEY WILL BE ITCHY...SO VERY ITCHY

(Man shrugs and drives away)

SUCKA...

[Angry Sandwich]

That be one heck of a tip. Much better then "The word “hamster” is not spelled with a 'P'".

[blackest_knight]

The Death Couch!!!!

[Orome]

[Angry Sandwich]

LOL! Niiiiice!
. . . .
Wait, if it devoured you, the who posted the picture. . . . and more importantly, whose going to run the middle earth campaign?

[Orome]

That wasn't me see...that newspaper is clearly old...and from mexico...amI in Mexico? I don't think so

[Angry Sandwich]

You're not in Mexico NOW!! Who know where you were back then when the newspaper was published. My bet is Mexico. Where you were devoured. Because thats where the couch was. That devoured you.

[blackest_knight]

Is the Death Couch gone?

[Angry Sandwich]

Yeah, I decided I would take the Death Couch home with me, but while me and Chad were loading the couch into the van we got mugged by. . .bandits. . .from space. Yeah, Space bandits. I wanted to resist, but Chad was all like "No, wait. Bide your time and strike when they least expect it." Then, as the Space Bandits were taking off, a seagull got sucked into their engine and their ship EXPLODED!!!

I looked at Chad and said "Think they'd expect me now"?

[blackest_knight]

If these were the same space bandits with the emp gun, then I highly doubt they'd be stopped by a mere sea gull!

[Angry Sandwich]

Nah, these are the wannabe Space Bandits who were all like "Hey! Check out those guys! Space Banditry must be easy!"

Then they found out it wasn't.

[blackest_knight]

lol. I really have nothing I can say to that.

[Angry Sandwich]

Thats not true! You could say "lol, so true!" or, "Bryan, you're an idiot", or "I had a tuna sandwich today. It was loud"

[blackest_knight]

but I didn't have tuna

[Angry Sandwich]

What? No tuna? *shakes head* For shame Shauna. For shame.
*hands Shauna a shotgun*
There is only one honorable thing to do. Shoot your dog.